Whambulance of Death

Today I was minding my own business when I looked at my pinkie finger to find blood!

Before I started to panic I realized it was the middle of the day so I was safe from vampires. Vampires LURVE eating blood, specially mine since I'm so sweet and sassy. Luckily for me they sleep during the day time. Then I remembered that BFF is a vampire and he is immune to sleeping during the day time like other True Blood vampires.

If bff knew he would surely drain me of all my sweet life. The only sane thing to do was call the Ambulance, but not just any ambulance. I needed the Whambulance.

Somehow bff found out my pinkie was bleeding and that I had called the Whambulance for assistance. I'm pretty sure he has the whambulance emergency line under surveillance for diabolical reasons. So bff says to me "they are on their way." I felt great thinking I'd soon be safe from death until bff gave me some bad news.

"Whambulance is stuck in traffic, if they're not there in 5 min, you should amputate" - bff

1 minute

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2.5 minutes...

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4.5873 minutes pass.

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then 5 minutes finally arrives!

(@*#&$)(@#*)@!!

I can imagine it now..... Death riding the Whambulance happily to amputate my arm and feed it to bff.

Bff can practically taste his meal right about now. But just to make sure I was dead dead he says "the dispatcher just told me that if you put a turnekit around your neck, the pain will go away" Clearly bff is a liar and used his vampire dazzling charms on the dispatcher to suggest such fallacies.