Jorts Galore

Happy Cairnlumbus Day!

2010-10-11T07:46:00.001-07:00

In 1492 Cairnlumbus sailed the ocean blue.

Thank you Cairnlumbus for discovering America. To all my fellow Cairns-people please enjoy the beautiful picture below. Use it to remind yourselves of why this day is important to us all.

Keep it Light, Keep it Bright, Keep it Ian!

2010-08-16T10:03:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite movies is The Producers. I can watch it a million times and still laugh like it was the first time I've seen it. For no reason at all I couldn't get one of the songs out of my head today. This is why today's comic and your daily dose of Ian is inspired by the following clip:

http://vimeo.com/10203916

Enjoy!

Compter v Me. Round 1.

2010-08-02T18:51:00.000-07:00

Typical day in the life of me versus computers.

Round one: FIGHT!

End Round 1

Computer 1.

Me 0.

Your daily Ian

2010-07-20T14:01:00.000-07:00

For no real reason at all, other than I like to draw a girly Ian, here is your daily Ian.

Ian is of Irish/Scottish heritage, hence the sexy ginger hair and kilt. In real life he is super manly and has ridiculously long gorgeous hair. He loves to wear kilts and has them in about every color known to man. You almost never see him wear pants...and if you do it probably means your going to die and the world will explode. Maybe if your lucky only a dog will bite you, or you'll get shot in the foot.

Ian is so beautiful he often gets mistaken for a girl. He can't go anywhere without men attacking him.

Other big quirks about Ian include, but are not limited to:

1) He hates technology. He prefers to live in "middle earth-esque", braveheart, ancient anything where there's a butt load of fighting times.

Yes yes...it should say Sparta. But who the heck has time to worry about spelling when your facing non-kilt wearing enemies who are trying to kill you and eat your face for dinner?

2) He is super cocky. "Im beautiful. It's not cocky if its the truth." <-- can't fault him there

3) Dude has a HUGE mouth. Seriously, the proportion of his face to mouth is like 93.6% mouth to 6.4% everything else that belongs on a face. Exhibit A:

It is common knowledge that Ian unhinges his jaw to eat large animals. I've only seen him eat a full grown goat before but I hear he's had baby T-rex before...That's really why the dinosaurs are extinct....he ate them all.

4) Even Irish people aren't as Irish as Ian. He has Irish everythign everywhere, all the time. His house, his clothes, his towels, his art, his blog (http://celtforchrist.blogspot.com/)

Note: When entering his home be very careful. If you want to get out alive avert your eyes! His Irishness will overload your body and turn you to stone. And then you die.

Whambulance of Death

2010-07-19T16:48:00.001-07:00

Today I was minding my own business when I looked at my pinkie finger to find blood!

Before I started to panic I realized it was the middle of the day so I was safe from vampires. Vampires LURVE eating blood, specially mine since I'm so sweet and sassy. Luckily for me they sleep during the day time. Then I remembered that BFF is a vampire and he is immune to sleeping during the day time like other True Blood vampires.

If bff knew he would surely drain me of all my sweet life. The only sane thing to do was call the Ambulance, but not just any ambulance. I needed the Whambulance.

Somehow bff found out my pinkie was bleeding and that I had called the Whambulance for assistance. I'm pretty sure he has the whambulance emergency line under surveillance for diabolical reasons. So bff says to me "they are on their way." I felt great thinking I'd soon be safe from death until bff gave me some bad news.

"Whambulance is stuck in traffic, if they're not there in 5 min, you should amputate" - bff

1 minute

....

........

2.5 minutes...

.............

........

.............

....

...

....................

4.5873 minutes pass.

...........

.........

...

....................

...........................

then 5 minutes finally arrives!

(@*#&$)(@#*)@!!

I can imagine it now..... Death riding the Whambulance happily to amputate my arm and feed it to bff.

Bff can practically taste his meal right about now. But just to make sure I was dead dead he says "the dispatcher just told me that if you put a turnekit around your neck, the pain will go away" Clearly bff is a liar and used his vampire dazzling charms on the dispatcher to suggest such fallacies.